Triumph and Disaster

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sidelines column Paul Toia

There’s an old Rugby saying that I was reminded of when I read that Trinity College and coach Eric Miller had parted ways. “When a team is winning, it’s a good team. When a team is losing, it’s a bad coach.” And that’s a coach’s lot.

So why do we still have people who want to be coaches?

Some of the answer I found in a post I read by a rugby parent on Facebook recently. The parent states why she didn’t mind paying for her son to play rugby. She feels it’s not the balls and the boots, the training kit and the mouth-guard she pays for, it’s something else.

“I pay for those moments when my boy becomes so tired he feels like quitting but he doesn’t. I pay for the opportunity that my son will have to make life-long friendships. I pay for the chance that he may have amazing coaches that will teach him that rugby is not just about rugby but about life. I pay for my child to learn to be disciplined. I pay for my boy to learn to take care of his body. I pay for my son to learn to work with others and to be a proud, supportive, kind and respectful team member. I pay for my child to learn to deal with disappointment, when he doesn’t get that try he hoped for, or dropped the ball despite having practiced a thousand times, but still gets up and is determined to do his BEST next time. I pay for my boy to learn to make and accomplish goals. I pay for my son to learn that it takes hours and hours and hours of hard work and practice to create a champion, and that success does not happen overnight. I pay for the opportunities that rugby provides my child to develop attributes that will serve him well throughout his life, and give him the opportunity to bless the lives of others. From what I’ve seen for many years, I think it is a great investment.”

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As coaches we really just want to give our all to our team and hope we get back hard work and enthusiasm from our players. Discipline, teamwork, loyalty, friendship and enjoyment are products of applying oneself with enthusiasm but real success can only be measured by the individual.

The great coaching sage John Wooden once defined success as “the peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best you are capable of becoming”.

And inspiring young men and women to give their best, to be the best that they are capable of being, is why men like Eric Miller are coaches. That is why they give selflessly to their Rugby community so we teach the next generation that winning doesn’t mean success and that losing doesn’t mean failure. If a player can give their utmost to their talent they will be able to look winning and losing in the face with the same contented smile.

As Rudyard Kipling so eloquently puts it, “…if you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same…you’ll be a Man, my son.”